Saturday, June 24, 2017
I call it "self portrait of an exhausted mother" school was over, for one, and the other had a week to go. My house is an upward battle and my heart was weary, I needed silence and a long uninterrupted shower, perhaps a little time on the yoga mat.
Transitions are never easy. Soon the summer "recovery" would happen, the days would go slowly, the creative juices would take over, my emotional energy would be sweetly demanded by two little ones (yes they are always little to me, even that nearly nine year old).
I would have Run from any relationship that demanded so much of me, the daily sacrifices, the lack of thanks, the heart wrenching guilt, the constant struggle, the need to constantly think in the long term, the risk, the one-sided dependance. Two small people with pouty lips and sparkling eyes holding my heart in their chubby little fingers, the thought is rightfully beautiful and terrifying!
But despite the exhaustion, the risks and demands, Motherhood is one of the most beautiful gifts I have been given.